You are here

What are the Signs of Abusive Behaviour?

If you think you may be abusing someone, or if someone has expressed concern about your behaviour, now is a good time to learn more.

The signs

You may be on this page because you realized that you were participating in abusive or violent behaviour. Or, someone you know or trust approached you to let you know they were concerned about your behaviour. Your partner or family member may be afraid of you, or told you directly that you were abusive. Whatever the case, it is very important that you think about your behaviour and recognize that you can get help and change.

Not all abusive behaviour is physical, so remember to look at the types of violence. It is possible to participate in abusive behaviour without being physically violent. It is possible to be abusive without having the intention to hurt someone.

  • To learn about what violence against women is, click here.
  • To learn about the different types of violence, click here.

How to recognize our abusive behaviour:

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you are being abusive or violent:

  • Am I trying to control everything in my relationship with the woman?
  • Do I try to keep her to myself?
  • Do I punish or blame her for my behaviour or actions? Do I say I did something abusive because she made me angry or upset?
  • Do I threaten her? Do I say I will hurt her, have her deported, or take away the children?
  • Do I put her down or call her names?
  • Do I touch her without asking or sexually assault her?
  • Do I keep her away from her friends and family?
  • Do I not let her have money or stop her from getting a job?
  • Do I keep all of her passports or immigration papers and not let her have them?
  • Do I break her things?
  • Do I hurt her or feel like hurting her or her kids?
  • Do I follow her, have people watch her or monitor who she calls and what she does online?

If you answered yes to any of these, click here.